When we’re in the middle of change and nothing is clear, how do we find the way forward? We can’t go back, but we also don’t know which way to go now.

There are three loose phases to times of change, and the messy middle is where the magic is, if we can learn to stay there in a way that allows us to find our gold.

Have you ever tried to read the story of your own life? Our life stories are written in our bodies - the tension we carry, our smile lines, our gestures and the ways that we move.

It’s a different kind of language than the one we’re used to hearing. It speaks in sensations - in tightness and ease, in tingles of energy, in freezy feeling states, in warmth. As we become more and more fluent, deeper and deeper subtleties arise. It’s endlessly fascinating! At least, it is to me - I love what happens when we learn to attune to ourselves so deeply.

If you want to stop being judgemental, a nice first step is to stop judging the part of you that judges stuff.

Being judgemental in itself isn’t bad. It’s part of being discerning and knowing what we want, knowing what we’ll tolerate, knowing our boundaries.

The secret to becoming more accepting of yourself and of the rest of the world is to let your internal judge do its judgey thing, and taking what it says with as many grains of salt as you need.

One of the first things many people say when they find out I’m an Art Therapist is:

“Oh, I couldn’t do that, I’m not creative. I can’t even draw a stick figure.”

If this is you, I have good news for you!

You don’t have to be talented, know how to draw or see yourself as creative to benefit from art therapy. Here’s why.

Leave no stone unturned.

Sounds like a serious undertaking, turning every stone.

Every stone, turned with anticipation of finding whatever it is that you’re looking for. Treasure? Frogs?

How many stones will it take?

This simple tool is a way of attuning to yourself more deeply in a way that feels really good. Taking the time to check in shows you you’re listening to yourself. Taking the time to find the right words shows you that you care. And as you learn the subtle nuances of how you feel, moment to moment, you’re validating your own experience (which is a powerful way, over time, of dismantling unworthiness and not-enoughness).

Give it a try!

When we’re small, we base our understanding of who we are and how we should behave by noticing the world around us. If we don’t learn to question this understanding as adults, we can end up feeling out of place in one or more areas of our lives, of not feeling authentically ourselves, in a way that’s hard to define.

There are seasons for rest and seasons for activity, times when new things are coming to life and times when old things are falling away.

I talk with Carol Anne on her podcast about how to navigate cycles and the power of aligning yourself to the way of the season you’re in. Lots of permission to be where you are, and to sink deeper into your own bones and your own magic.

Once upon a time…” are magic words to me - I find myself leaning in, eyes wide, ready to suspend my disbelief and enter a place where the normal rules don’t apply.

In stories, there’s so much possibility. Anything might happen at any moment. Talking rabbits. Magic carpets. Star crossed lovers finding and losing and finding each other again. Ordinary people overcoming extraordinary odds and discovering they’re not so ordinary after all.

The middle bit of change is hard. Messy middle.

It’s begun, change is happening, old routines and ways of being don’t work, but new ones haven’t been established yet so everything is chaos.